


you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you)

by hide



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fluff, Gen, SO, but it's all just sweet nd subtle linkai warming up to zzt, but theyre all very uwuwuw for each other don't get me wrong, long live gramarie, ok i'll stop rambling enjoy this piece of shit that took me way too long to write, the gramarie ot3 relationships are implied nd touched on!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 07:16:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15944432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hide/pseuds/hide
Summary: What is born out of a sleepless night, and then some.(or, alternatively, Linkai is exhausted and tends to think too much and Xukun and Zhengting end up maybe a little too fond.)





	you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you)

It's late, Linkai can't sleep and the world is at fault for everything. 

It’s all the more worse seeing as he really _should_ be sleeping, he’s got the _time,_ for once, and he'd be out like a fucking light with a capital L if it weren't for his stomach feeling like it's slowly and annoyingly being turned inside out. 

It’s dumb and embarrassing and an absolutely unnecessary part of being an omega on everything-blockers, if you ask Linkai, and as an admittedly stubborn atheist, it's not like anyone _decided_ to make him one, either, so. It’s the world that sucks. 

Even suckier is the fact that in a world that traps him in its size, Linkai ends up finding solace in dreams, and he can't really do that without falling asleep - daydreaming is one thing, but he’s too tired to forge up anything remotely satisfying at this hour. 

Of course, it's not always like this. Most days are days better than this. Most days he’ll jump around with Chengcheng and pull Justin’s hair and laugh to his heart’s content. His days are full of excitement and restlessness, Ziyi’s violets and Yanjun’s sandalwood and everything feels like it's meant to be, and all that cheesy shit. 

But, again. Still quite a fresh omega. Some days (mostly when his natural heat should be creeping up, but gets shoved down with aforementioned blockers) end up like this. 

Like days when Linkai wakes up to a stupid ache in his chest that feels like it's restricting his lung capacity. Days on which what would make him excited instead turns into anxious thoughts and his head feels foggy and he can't focus on anything.

Something like an invisible mental barrier sets itself snugly between Linkai and the rest of the world, and perhaps most irritably, every scent he’d be fine with any other time turns overwhelming. 

It’s those rare days like this that, with him in his dumb, hormonal, easily irritable and even more easily guilty, can't-concentrate-or-really-do-anything-without-a-lot-of-help state make Linkai question whether there’s really room or a need for a xiao gui among Nine Percent after all. 

Linkai sighs and turns onto his other side. 

His hair still feels odd when he reaches up to thread his fingers through it - just being able to do that feels wrong, even. The messy braids it ends up in most of the time manage to make him forget the oddness of it, but the second his hair is down it's nearly impossible for Linkai to not be aware of it at all times. 

The point is; everything ends up bothering him. Everything he can feel is kind of cranked up. He wants to either fall asleep or just lay there and think, but the emotional mess waiting to fall apart that he is in denial about being is making that difficult without something happening - that something most likely being a good half an hour of crying, which would probably be good and take some of the edge off, but crying is something that's still.. weird. Around people who aren't Gramarie. 

_Who aren’t pack-_

Anyway. 

The sleeplessness might not even be directly because of the heat thing, really. Maybe it's just because he's still not used to not having the steady whir of his laptop exactly near him to lull him to sleep. 

Then again, there's a million other things he’s gotten to make him drowsy through the years - for all his time at Gramarie, it was more often than not the nimble tapping of fingers on a keyboard and the click of a mouse in silence or, on occasions where his geges actually had to recharge, slow breaths and occasional shuffling from beds beside his.

When it was just him falling asleep, it would more often than not be to nothing but the comforting mixed scents of fresh aloe and silky chai hanging in the stuffy air of their dorm. 

Waxing poetic, unsurprisingly, does nothing in terms of getting Linkai to fall asleep. Why he let himself descend down that path, he is yet to know.

The clock on the wall opposite him ticks maybe a minute or two until it becomes evident that the probability of sleep happening if he doesn’t go and find some painkillers (or, something in the back of his mind chimes, if he can muster up the courage, a good hug) is near the negatives.

With a sigh and movements as careful as he can manage in the dark, Linkai clambers down. Justin stirs a bit where he’s asleep below him, but the boy is a heavy enough sleeper that the noise doesn’t come close to waking him up. 

The light in the kitchen is on, unsurprisingly, and when Linkai walks in in his pajamas, he’s met with glances both from Xukun, barefaced and holding a mug of tea and Zhengting, peering at him from behind thick glasses and a face mask. Thinking back, he should’ve known it was them. The smell of raspberries and sea salt had hit him the moment he opened the door of his room.

He’d probably at least spare a smile or something, but he’s kind of sweaty and his stomach still hurts and all he wants to do is find some paracetamol and go to sleep, so all he manages is a nod that he hopes looks well-meaning enough. 

“Oh, I thought you were asleep,” says Zhengting then, scooting over with his chair so Linkai can walk past him to the tiny cabinet where they keep most of their (read: Xukun and Ziyi’s) medicine. Linkai can hear Xukun hum in agreement.

He retracts his hand from the cabinet, box of tablets in it, and shrugs, reaching for a glass to fill with water. “Couldn’t. Feeling like crap.”

Zhengting tsks. “Do you think you’re coming down with something?” 

Linkai swallows, gulps down the rest of the water and tuns around. He can’t see Zhengting’s expression from behind the face mask when he turns to look at him, but the tilt of his head is instantly attentive, conversation with Xukun apparently forgotten. It suddenly feels like Linkai’s really being a burden. He quickly shakes his head. 

“N-no, I don’t think so, it’s just.. a regular thing, it happens sometimes,” is what he settles for, waving Zhengting off and feeling his brows knit together as Zhengting’s eyes scan him skeptically while he speaks. 

When he shuts up, though, something seems to dawn on Zhengting. Whether it’s out of Linkai’s warm cheeks and tired expression or not, Zhengting’s mouth opens as if to say something, but he quickly closes it. Linkai is almost ready to bolt out of the kitchen by the time Zhengting lets his face mask crinkle up and smiles tentatively at him.

“Do you want tea? There's still some hot water left,” adds Xukun, then, and in true Xukun fashion, he’s already up from his seat and going to grab another mug along with a box of chamomile before Linkai can open his mouth to protest.

There’s something the way it feels like Xukun and Zhengting share a stream of consciousness, existing in flawless symbiosis that feels naturally different from what Linkai knows but somehow still the same.

Even in their fretting over him, they are synchronised, and for the briefest of seconds, there is a pang in Linkai of something almost too familiar to be casual.

Once tea is done, and both Xukun and Zhengting have refilled their mugs as well as Linkai’s - his mind is telling him it’s so that Linkai’ll feel like less of the burden he’s being, but he’s too tired to dwell much on those thoughts - , Zhengting seems to sense an awkward silence approaching and starts the conversation up again.

They talk slightly softer than they had when Linkai intruded (maybe in fear of waking others up), and they don’t really include him, but Linkai really can’t seem to mind it - he’s feeling less like an absolute pile of misery, but his stomach still acts up every few minutes, and talking just feels like a chore in this state, anyway.

When Linkai gulps down the last of his tea and glances at the clock, it reads just a little bit past three in the morning. Xukun’s nodding along to something Zhengting’s quietly, but not at all timidly explaining to him about stretching and dance and Linkai suppresses a yawn.

He’d listen for longer, but those three and a half hours of sleep are starting to look more attainable now that he’s sated by the paracetamol and tea and _fine,_ he won’t admit it, but maybe also the slight comfort being around Xukun and Zhengting can bring, with both being betas. Linkai stands up, pushing the chair behind him as silently as he can. 

Zhengting glances at him. He took the mask off a while ago, features now just kind of red and shiny looking, and it’s grounding, somehow. A corner of his mouth tugs up, gaze tired and warm. “Feeling better?” 

Linkai gives another nod, eyes meeting Zhengting’s as he stretches his arms over his head. His morning self is definitely going to be cringing himself to the next dimension over this, but he honestly can’t find the energy to care. “Yeah. Um, thanks.”

If Zhengting catches the very obvious note of _I-don’t-know-how-to-express-my-gratitude-without-getting-emotional_ in Linkai’s voice, he doesn’t show it, and Linkai is glad. Instead, Zhengting doesn’t let his smile fade. 

“Do you think you can get some sleep now?” Xukun’s voice is as soft as Zhengting’s, but somehow clear from sleep; though, at a closer look, Linkai’s pretty sure his eyes are starting to fall closed by their own accord. Linkai nods again. “That’s good, then. I’d tell you to not wake Justin, but I think that boy could sleep through an earthquake.”

He bids them goodnight, earning two promises from both that they’ll go to bed soon too and one from Zhengting that he’ll come wake him up in a few hours. Linkai manages to climb up to his bed without causing a natural disaster, which is great, and when he’s nicely situated under the covers again, a thought strikes him.

He pats around his bed for his phone and quickly turns the brightness as low as it’ll go, opening up WeChat and his messages with Xingjie with only minimal difficulty in keeping his eyes open. Not a lot of sleep-drunk thought goes into the messages, and again, morning Linkai will absolutely gag over this, but Jie-ge will get it. He always does.

Linkai’s thoughts are easy on him, then, and sleep doesn’t hesitate, either.

 

 

**to: apple duk duk duk tropicana**

**03:08**

_u know_

_ting-ge is kind of cool_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ksjdfksd I spent a not okay amount of time on this!! So I hope u enjoyed uwuwuwu
> 
> Comments are what motivate me to keep writing so !!! If you'd like to see other fics in this setting please let me know lmao I have a lot of ideas (most involving actual Gramarie ot3 interactions too!! and no I didn't forget Yankai but I headcanon that as he's still unpresented they're just really fond of him but he's not actually in the PackRelationship yanno)
> 
> I love u all !! 
> 
> ~Ari


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